Marriage going the way of the dinosaurs?

From a small voice in the Bible belt.

On the front page of this morning's Lawton Constitution is the headline "What's a family? Four in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete."

First, the article mentions divorced people.  People cannot get divorced unless they are married. Divorced people were once married.  They utilized the accepted legal system to get married.  When things didn't work out, they also utilized the accepted legal system to get un-married.  Property and possessions were divided in the courts; child support and custody issues were settled in the courts.  Divorced people were once married and have nothing to do with the institution of marriage going by the wayside.  They are simply people that recognized that that particular marriage, for whatever reason, was not working out so they divorced.   To me, the institution of marriage is still intact. 

Now, let's move on to people who live together.  Great.  Go for it but don't expect the courts to divvy up your shared life when you both decide to end it.  And, if (for the love of God, why?), you have reproduced, you are really swimming in a murky pool.

I am not talking about morality and immorality.  I am simply talking about smart and stupid.  Women, let's be smart about our bodies.  Use birth control. (I cannot believe the number of young women in my state who are having babies willy-nilly with no thought for the future, theirs or their children's.)  The Pill was such a huge thing in the 1960s.  Since that time so many new forms of birth control have been developed.  They only work, though, if you use them.


Men, use birth control.  Protect yourself from unwanted pregnancies and disease.

Do not reproduce until you are with a person who is as committed to your life together as you are.  Be smart! Don't be stupid. 


Recently I heard a young couple say that having a kid together is no reason to get married. Having a child is every reason to get married.  A child unites two people forever.  You will be linked through the child even if, at some point, you and your significant other go your separate ways.  

Children are forever.   Marriage isn't always a forever matter, but it is the legal system that the United States uses to recognize the establishment of a relationship.  And if gay people want to get married, go for it.  Gay people should be able to use the United States legal system just like heterosexual citizens.

Looking at situations through "tsk, tsk, bad or good" and "Heaven or hell" will bite us every time.

Try to handle life realistically.  Here in my flyover state, we bury our heads in the sand.  "Our teenaged daughter isn't having sex;"  "my son is a good boy, he would never do anything like that;" "but the Bible says . . . (pick your poison)."

Use birth control.  Take precautions.  Make every child a wanted child.


Well, I've gone off topic from my opening paragraph and I know I sound like such an old lady.  Nevertheless.  Be smart.  Don't be stupid.

Our corner of the world

The eastern horizon this morning about 6:30 a.m. Central Standard Time, eastern Comanche County, OK

The poster pictured above is in my kitchen. I read it to remind myself that my little corner of the world is just that.  Everyone else on this planet has their little corners too.  This flyover state is part of a much larger world. 

I purchased the poster back in 2004 from what catalogue I don't remember.  The beautiful artwork is by Ann Altman.  I looked up Wade Davis to see who this wise man is.  He is an anthropologist and National Geographic Explorer-in-Residence, so if anyone knows about different corners of the world, I think it would be Wade Davis.   

“The world in which you were born is just one model of reality.  Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique manifestations of the human spirit.” (Wade Davis)

I think we forget that sometimes here in the middle of our sea of grass.  I think that is part of our problem with understanding other people's points of view:  we have no ocean.  New ideas, even with the Internet and media, take just a tad longer to make it to our corner of the world and the acceptance of them takes even longer.  We get just a little bit too comfortable and any hint of change scares us.   I think this last election is an indication of that.

Just try to stretch the mind every once in awhile.  Try to see the world through another's eyes.

My Last Rant on Daylight Savings Time at least until spring

6:20 a.m., Monday, 8 Nov 2010 - Venus rising above the
largest tree on the horizon.

Can you tell the sky is important to us here in the flyover part of the country?  It is everywhere and we comment on it frequently.


This will be my last rant on changing time at least until spring.  Here is my initial rant.


So how are you all feeling today?  I've learned that it doesn't matter if we fall back one hour or spring forward an hour, it takes at least a week to adjust.  And to those of you with babies and young children, I know it's especially rough on you and them.  


My normal wake-up time is 5 a.m.  I was awake at 4 a.m.  My eyes are hard to keep open after 9 p.m. -- now they are trying to shut by 8 p.m.  I tell you, I'm a barrel of laughs!


I heard a story the other day on NPR's Saturday Weekend Edition with Scott Simon about Great Britain's discussing perhaps leaping forward two hours in the summer and falling back one hour -- here's the link to the story --  Time change and Great Britain -- and the person interviewed gave the same ridiculous reasons that were given to the American public about why messing with the clock is so wonderful.  It isn't wonderful.  If anything can throw a population off kilter, it's messing with the clock.


Here's another story that NPR did in 2005 about the history of the time change. NPR story on daylight savings time   It's enlightening and interesting as all things are on NPR, but I still don't like time changes.


So, I think that does it.  No more ranting about time change.  I shall move on to something else.  Thank you.

We're back to Central Standard Time!

Look for Venus above the large elm tree. She was so bright this morning. Hope you remembered to set your clock back one hour.

Blogging, Despair, John Stuart Mill, and a Great Horned Owl

I don't know if you are familiar with Despair, Inc.  We get their hard copy catalogue.  Clever concept and it's worth a visit to the site if you enjoy cynical, on-the-money points of view.
  
Anyway . . .there is a poster devoted to Blogging.  It says "Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few." 


Perhaps.  I prefer to think, though, all the blogging taking place on the Internet is really just the 21st century's version of John Stuart Mill's marketplace of ideas.  


And the following picture has nothing to do with what I just wrote, it's just a cool picture of a great horned owl that I took Thursday morning.  He was waiting for the chickens to be let out of the coop!


Happy blogging.

Can you spot him?  If you look closely enough, you
will see two glowing eyes.  Picture taken 4Nov2010
west of Fletcher, OK.

A Land of Elephants and Fat White Guys

I am a blue dot in a sea of red here in this flyover state.  And I’m a native.  Somehow, the political makeup has changed over the years until, during the last Presidential election,  my flyover state was the reddest in the nation.  And for some perverse reason, we are proud of that.   


On my Google home page was a funny quote by Seth McFarlane:  “The two symbols of the Republican party:  an elephant and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.”


Welcome to the land of elephants and fat white guys!  We battle Mississippi for the bottom rung in educational rankings, yet we vote down Question 744 which would have required our state to spend at least as much money per student as the bordering states do.  Aren’t our children worth the investment of our tax dollars?


We seem to think we are in imminent danger of Sharia law taking over our state’s courts because there was a state question about that.   Also, there was a state question about making  English the official language in this flyover state.  If anyone is familiar with this flyover state’s use of the English language, they might find this state question ironic.  Heck, the natives have trouble using English!  But now it’s official -- English is the official language of this state.  The only people this did not affect are the Native Americans.


And, of course, my candidate for governor -- Jari Askins -- did not win.  I now understand something that a professor from the East Coast once told me.  “You think you’re liberal?  You’re not liberal.  You should see the East Coast liberals.”  I understand now.  Even our Democratic candidates are barely recognizable as Democrats.  And, heaven forbid, if you aren’t wearing the required Christian cross around your neck.  That and the American flag lapel pin.  


Oh, and we also voted to block the new federal health care initiative.  It’s crazy.  We are already one of the unhealthiest states in the nation, but we don’t want any help with health care.


We’re represented by two Senators, one who says there is no climate change (there is!) and who is famous for flying his own plane which he recently landed on a closed runway (see Inhofe plane landing under FAA investigation).  And then there's Senator No.  He makes news only because he calls a press conference to say “no.”  Doesn’t matter what the question is; his answer is “no.”  He reminds me of my grandchildren.  “No.”  


Oh, and one more thing:  we elected a man to represent us in Washington, D.C. whose work experience was being a director at the Falls Creek Youth Camp, a big deal here in Baptist Oklahoma.  If nothing else, watching him maneuver around in our Nation's capitol will be interesting.


I told my husband we should move to another state.  His response, “Why should we move? We were born in this state!  We have just as much right to live here as anyone else. At least until there's a state question on the next ballot asking voters to decide if we can still live here.”


And, finally, to all you voters who switch allegiances back and forth with each election.  I believe you call yourselves "independent."  (Maybe wishy-washy?) There's a great cartoon appearing on this morning's Lawton Constitution editorial page.  A man is screaming at the TV which shows Election Night 2010.  "WE WANT CHANGE!!!"  Twenty-four hours later, the same man is screaming, "It's been 24 hours!  Nothing has changed!!"

Hot Flashes + Discomfort = Hormone Replacement Therapy? Not for me.

Those of us in the throes of menopause and those poor souls who have to live with us are aware of the incredible hot flashes that women can have.  I am experiencing menopause the natural way, with no hormone replacement therapy.  I deal with hot flashes by breathing deeply, exercising, drinking lots of cold water, and ripping off clothing at inappropriate moments.  :-)


Bobbie Mullins wrote a piece featured on The Lawton Constitution's editorial page (1 Nov 2010) entitled "Think twice about hormone replacement therapy."   We already know about the 2002 findings of the Women's Health Initiative which stated that combining estrogen and progestin increased the risk for breast cancer in women.  Later studies found that "estrogen only" treatments did not have the same effect.


However, did you know that some of the estrogen replacement drugs being now prescribed to women are made of the urine of pregnant horses?  That urine is rich in estrogen.  These horses must wear rubber urine collection bags to collect the necessary urine. They are kept in confining stalls. The horses' fluid intake is carefully monitored -- the less fluid, the richer and more concentrated the urine is in estrogen.  


Think about that.  A horse pees in a cup so that women's symptoms of menopause will not be so overwhelming.  Really.  There are better ways to handle the discomforts of menopause.

NOT BY THE HAIR OF MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN!

My third great grandmother's
chin hairs ca 1885.

The purpose of this posting is not to ridicule women in the 1800s.  By way of introduction, I will tell you that, while scanning beautiful old cabinet cards and photographs passed down to me by my grandmother and great aunt, I noticed something "a little extra" on one of my third great grandmothers.  After scanning the photo, I sectioned it into eyes, mouth, nose, and chin.  (I often do that to see if any of the parts that make up the whole resemble any relative that I have met.)  So back to the chin -- I kept enlarging it on my computer until . . . yes, it was . . . a fine crop of chin hairs on my third great grandmother's chin.  Aghast, I immediately focused on myself and saw what lay ahead for me if I did not pluck and pluck and wax and wax.  Then I started checking other photos of women from that time period and realized that, more often than not, they too sported nice crops of chin hairs.


By coincidence, while thinking of a way to work chin hairs into a blog posting,  yesterday morning on PublicRadio.org's Performance Today, an acapella song, written by Ysaye Barnwell and performed by Sweet Honey in the Rock, called "No Mirrors in my Nana's House" was performed.  Fast paced and heartfelt, the song tells about a little girl who lives with her grandmother.  Her grandmother has no mirrors in her house.  Each day, the little girl's grandmother describes to the little girl how she looks and tells her how wonderful she is.  She looks at the little girl with love and that's how the little girl sees herself.  She grows up with no negative image of herself.


Then, again a coincidence, there was a recent article in the 28 Oct 2010 The New Yorker by Ben McGrath about Gawker's Nick Denton.  In the article, Denton says that "he is a staunch believer in the primacy of vanity. . . . calling someone ugly will always trump calling him incompetent or a thief."  How true.  We remember the negative things that have been said about us, rather than the positive.


Harper's Bazarr is credited with beginning the marketing campaign for hair removal on women between 1914 and 1915.  And while that campaign's focal point was mainly underarm hair removal, it knocked over that first domino in our march toward the ultimate goal of being as smooth as a baby, no matter our age.


Today we are pounded and hounded with images of how we should look. People in the public eye who are "of a certain age" have their faces stretched until they are no longer recognizable as the people they once were.   They get that desperate look about them. And it's sad.  None of us appear willing to "go gentle into that good night."  We will color, stretch, smooth, and medicate, attempting to stave off the inevitable.


I do wonder how it must have been to have not worried so much about one's physical appearance. There were, of course, fashion standards to which people in the 1800s tried to adhere, but I don't think they were hounded and pounded by images quite as much as we are in the 21st century.  If the study of genealogy teaches us anything, it's that human beings are the same no matter what century -- it's just the tenor of the times that is different.


So, all that being said, my hope for you today is that the ones you know will look at you through the eyes of love and that you, too, will look at others with the same eyes.  Life is so short.  


A life without mirrors.  Think about it.

OF GARDEN SPIDERS, BUTTERNUT SQUASH AND A SINGLE PAYER HEALTH CARE SYSTEM

Hanging out laundry this morning, I faced into a cool wind blowing from the north.  A cold front is moving in. Summer 2010 is truly over. The hummingbird feeders came down this morning; I always keep them up until the last moment just in case a straggler hums in from the north on its way south.  My husband is harvesting the last of the green peppers and butternut squash. The garden spider has even come down from her magnificent web on Summersgaze and is now crouching on the southeast side of a paint chipped Adirondack chair. Summer does come to an end.


The 1 minute piece posted above is composed of shots taken from 5:15 a.m. (feeding the cats time) to 8:15 a.m. today.

* * * * * * * *

This morning I heard an interesting piece on NPR.    It was about a company in Needham, Massachusetts -- Vita Needle Company -- that hires people over the age of 65 to work.  One woman who was interviewed is over 98 years old.  It's an excellent piece -- the link is here:  NPR story


This piece, however, inadvertently pointed out the need for a single payer health care system in the United States.  Caitrin Lynch is quoted as saying that in addition to appreciating flexible hours, senior citizens bring along their own health care -- Medicare -- so the company does not have to provide health care benefits.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all that companies had to worry about were creating  jobs for people, making a profit, and providing excellent retirement packages for their employees?  Under a single payer health care system, that could happen.  As it stands now, we are at the mercy of a health care insurance octopus with companies footing the health care expense burden when health care should be a benefit of being a citizen of the United States.  A life enhancement, if you will.


Single payer health care system.  That's the way to go. And, yes, it is that simple.